Thought for the Day:

Slowly the west reaches for clothes of new colors
which it passes to a row of ancient trees.
You look, and soon these two worlds both leave you,
one part climbs toward heaven, one sinks to earth,

leaving you, not reallly belonging to either,
not so hopelessly dark as that house that is silent,
no so unswervingly given to the eternal as that thing
that turns to a star each night and climbs -

leaving you (it is impossible to untangle the threads)
your own life, timid and standing high and growing,
so that, sometimes blocked in, sometimes reaching out,
one moment your life is a stone in you, and the next, a star.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Sunset


*****

At first this poem by Rilke seemed a bit depressing to me, but the more I read it, the more uplifting I find it. Sometimes my life is a stone, and sometimes, it is a star. And in fact, a stone and a star are each lovely in their own ways. The solidity of stone, the earthiness, touchability. The bright and ethereal quality of stars. Stones are grounded, while stars take flight each night in the sky. I think we need life to be both; I know I do.


View of our back deck this morning (practicing with my new digital camera :-) )

Thought for the Day:

Midsummer’s moon is the serenader’s moon, sentimental as the rhymes that go with it. Autumn’s moon is the golden harvest moon, big as all outdoors. But winter’s moon is queen of the sky. It hurries the sun to bed, banishes all but the brightest stars, and blazons the frosty night a full fourteen hours in remote and solitary grandeur. -- Hal Borland

*****

So, it's snowing. AGAIN. Big, fat, fluffy flakes. Lots of them. They're calling for 6-12 inches possibly. This winter is just unreal. I chose the above quote because it reminded me of all those cold, clear, winter nights (that I can remember but haven't seen for a while haha) ... when the air smelled so fresh and crisp, like it was blowing right down from Canada. When I was in highschool, I used to drive through Rock Creek Park in Washington, D.C. with the headlights off. Everything was gilded and quite surreal, but so bright, the trees cast shadows just like during the day and the creek was like liquid silver. I can't drive around with my lights off anymore (too bad) because my car lights automatically go on when I put it in drive.


On another note: Whoopieeeee! Got my scanner working! Also got a little cheapo digital camera so maybe I can post pictures faster. I'm still figuring this out ... the white border around these photos really bugs me and I can't seem to get rid of it. And I had to make the photos rather small so they didn't mess up the margins in my blog ... oh well! :-)


Here is the living roof we saw in Scotland, on a candlemaker's studio and shop. Neat, huh?!


Here are some photos of the log cabin we used to live in. Isn't it cute?








I've also put the title up for a new section I'm considering ... things I'd need if I was on a desert island. Now ... I've been thinking about this, and there are QUITE a few things I'd need -- books, CD's, yarn yarn yarn, even a couple of movies (my desert island will have a solar powered CD and video player haha). So, I'll stick it up one day soon and if it takes up too much room, I'll just take it down again. :-)


And now, Brett is taking the kids outside to play again, and I'm going to go sit and relax in the quiet ... and knit ... and drink some tea.

Thought for the Day:

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clear blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things. -- Mary Oliver, Wild Geese

*****

Ok. So. My new favorite poet is Mary Oliver. I just stumbled across a couple of her poems in an anthology, and simply must buy some of her books. Can't believe I haven't come across her before, especially since I have a degree in English Literature (but then, modern American poetry wasn't my concentration). Maybe I have crossed paths with her work before, and at the time her poetry just didn't speak to me the way it does now.

I have come down with a major cold. Every day I wake up hoping it will be better, but it's not. Last night I took a "night-time" decongestant which kept me awake all night. Argh. I finally got up at 5 am because I was sick of just laying there. I'll have to convince the kids that they really need a nap today. heh heh.

Today it is snowing, again. Can you believe it? But hey, after last year's mild winter and summer droughts, I'm not complaining ... YET (ask me again if it's still snowing in March when I'm trying to get the garden started!). As Brett put it this morning, this is the baby storm ... the mommy and daddy storms are on their way. I think they're calling for additional accumulation of 8 inches. Schools are closed again today ... and I also had to cancel my acupuncture appointment. Bummer.

So, we're hanging out and I started the Leaf Cravat from the Winter 2002/2003 issue of Interweave Knits. Definitely my favorite knitting magazine. Actually, I like alot of the Interweave Publications, including Spin-Off and Natural Home (really love this one). Anyway, I just started this scarf this morning, and it's my first time knitting from a chart without transcribing it into regular knitting language. One of my goals for 2003 is to knit from a chart, so I figured this was a good place to start as it's very simple and quick. But, I definitely will need to get to a copy machine to enlarge charts for future knitting! These things are too darn small! I'm also going to invest in one of those magnetic boards that needlepointers use, to set up and block off sections of the chart so it will be easier to read. Anyway, also did a provisional crochet cast-on on the first leaf so I can pick up and knit the stitches for the rest of the scarf, rather than sewing them together. First time doing a provisional cast-on, too. I'm knitting it in a soft, purple alpaca that I purchased from Morning Moon Alpacas, for a friend for her birthday. They have great fiber! And the owner just had some alpaca mixed with angora that is simply to DIE for.

On another note, I started reading my straw bale books again (I take these out every few months just to torture myself :-) ). Serious Straw Bale is a great one, because it focuses on building straw bale in wet climates (Pacific Northwest, Northeastern US, etc.) The Straw Bale House is written by Bill and Athena Steen, who live in Arizona and are two of the pioneers of the developing straw bale industry. They have workshops at their ranch, as well as a bed and breakfast ... The Canelo Project. One of these years, I hope to convince Brett to go out here and take one of their seminars on straw bale techniques. Wouldn't that be cool!

Jen, continuing to dream, signing off to go throw together some homemade soup and knit for the rest of the day, while watching the snow pile up again outside!

Thought for the Day:

Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? -- Mary Oliver

*****

I added an easy recipe for home-made yogurt over to the left under "miscellanea." I make this all the time, so I thought I'd share it for anyone interested. I purchase Yogourmet Yogurt Starter at my local health food store or Whole Foods Market, but if you don't have access to a health food store, you can purchase it on-line through various websites. I found it on this one: Yogourmet Yogurt Starter, but to be honest I've never ordered it here. For my yogurt, I don't use a yogurt maker, just my oven slightly warmed up. And it works really well!

I like homemade yogurt, because then I'm guaranteed that the cultures in it are alive and well (and that is the point of eating yogurt, heh?). I use this in morning breakfast shakes, "milk" shakes for my kids (with fruit and sweetener), snacks, cooking ...

I spent too much time this morning fiddling with my blog. I changed the fonts, and also added a TagBoard down on the bottom right. Not sure about the changes yet ... Also might add another "section" of links ... I'm sure I'll keep playing with it! :)

My mohair sweater continues, albet slowly. This head cold I have is not conducive to paying attention to a lace stitch, and I find myself tinking as much as knitting. And as much as I'm enjoying knitting this sweater, I already find myself fantasizing about what my next project will be (it will not be finishing Brett's seed stitch vest ... just can't get myself psyched up for that yet :-) ). I have a sweater designing itself in my head with the Noro Kochoran yarn I bought after Christmas. I bought it in color #22. I purchased 2 skeins of this at the Knitter's Review retreat, in #21 and #22, what luscious yarn! These 2 skeins ended up being knitted into scarves for friends. Just had to knit myself a sweater out of it, too. It's wild, the angora at first doesn't seem like much, but after washing and wearing, it really starts to loft out. So, will it be this ... or some Manos yarn I have that's also calling me ... or ... decisions decisions! So much yarn, so little time! heh heh

Now, I'm going to go have a cup of herbal tea, lay on the sofa and watch "Ice Age" with the kids!

Thoughts for the Day:

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. -- Mark Twain

I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself. -- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

*****

Bear with me this morning as I think I am in an exceptionally philosophical mood (The great thing about this blog is I can wax as philosophical and deep as I want and I never -directly- get any rolled-eye looks or sighs. You can just click off my site and I'll never be the wiser! haha).

Have you heard that PBS is doing another series of its version of "reality TV"? By this, I mean that they are doing another mini-series along the lines of Frontier House. This one is Colonial House and will be all about living in Colonial America. Now, I loved Frontier House ... not so much in watching these families bicker and fight amongst themselves, but more in just the "idea" of living like this. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to BE Laura Ingalls. Then, in highschool, I progressed to wanting to be a Native American (complete with wearing moccasins to school, feathers in my hear, etc., which probably gave some of my more conservative family members minor heart palpitations) (well, I'm still sorta like this ... one of these days we're going to buy a real Tipi for the back yard!). I was an artist -- painter, pencil drawing, calligrapher, potter, knitter. Then, after college, I succumbed to "civilization" and became a good little "working girl." And hated it. For 13 years. As a property manager and leasing agent for a commercial real estate company. What was I thinking? Talk about not being true to yourself! Major "how did I get HERE?" musings. When my husband and I decided to get married, we rented a restored 1700's log cabin the first year of our marriage. And thus began my slow journey back to myself.

The first winter we had 2 woodstoves to heat the house, and a very cool propane oven that worked like a dream. Then the owner installed a couple of propane heaters in some important areas (kitchen, bathrooms, water heater area) so we wouldn't have frozen pipes (this helped Brett out with his wood chopping chores at least a little!). This was such a fun place to live -- all my childhood fantasies brought to life (with the added benefit of modern conveniences like electricity, and a washer/dryer). But what a warm, cozy place to be, with a big front porch, wide plank floors ... and some of the interior log walls had rocks in between them instead of chinking. Sounds strange, but looked really cool. If I could get my scanner to work I'd scan some pictures in here ... I'll keep trying. Here I had my first "real" garden, did my first "real" canning, made my first "real" homemade bread and pies and such. We ended up having to move because we started our landscaping business and there was no way an 18-wheeler was going to make it up this long, windy dirt road to the cabin. Not to mention we had no place to run the business from anyway. So, we moved on into an early 19th century Sears farmhouse. Not quite the ambiance. Still miss that cabin.

So, for the longest time I wanted to build a log cabin ... then my environmental sensibilities kicked in big time, and I realized that for me it was okay to live in one that had been built 300 years ago, but not okay to cut down all the trees required to build a new one. Hence, my new goal of the straw bale home (with the living roof of course ... what could be better than having a roof covered in flowers? ... I have a picture of one in Scotland which, again, I'll post if I can get this dang scanner to work!).

Basically, what it boils down to is that in many ways I think I was born in the wrong century (a couple of centuries too early, actually :-) ). Or else the blood of my ancestors who lived back then is REALLY strong in me. Because I'm a firm believer that we get more than physical characteristics from the blood which travels down through the ages. Ever travel someplace and feel an immediate "aaahhh" moment -- the smells are familiar, comforting, "homey." I feel this way in Ontario, where my paternal grandmother grew up, and also in Scotland, where some of my maternal grandmother's ancestors were from. Brett had to nearly drag me back on the plane in Scotland (where we went on our honeymoon) because I wanted to STAY! I was home!

Anyway, I sometimes wonder if this feeling of being in the wrong century has something to do with my quest for that way of life - gardening, growing food for my family, baking, cooking, knitting, making my own clothes, etc. All the things that people did back when life was slower and simpler. Or maybe I just don't deal with the complexities and stresses of modern day life very well. Course, in reality, I don't really think I'd want to go BACK in time (ever read Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series? fun books about time travel, and very well written. See my Favorite Books section for a link) ... because there are many worthwhile things about modern living -- antibiotics, epidurals (yep, I was a big chicken about childbirth ... and realized I wasn't going to get any extra medals for pain, so what the heck!), washer/dryers, cd players (I am such a music lover), etc. Don't know that I'd really enjoy banging my clothes on a rock ... but then this is from my current vantage point of knowing the modern alternatives. And also my view of living back then is quite romanticized, I do admit.

Part of me would love to do this Colonial House thing. In reality, I know we definitely couldn't. Self-employment has many benefits -- taking several months off at the busiest time of year isn't one of them. Brett chuckles at me at bit, because he doesn't think I could do it. But I know that I'd like to try (and anyway, HE'D be in charge of the hard stuff like chopping wood and plowing! heh heh). In any event, we are sculpting a life which, eventually I hope, will be slower and simpler, much like it was back then. Where we will live in a house we have built ourselves, grow our gardens, knit, spin, bake bread ... all that good stuff. But, the difference is, now I choose to do these things ... back then there would have been no choice.

It no longer bothers me when people call me "Earth Mother." I suppose this is partly to tease me; but I also think it's partly to mask their own discomfort at anything "different," and "unconventional." Now, I know that my highschool friends who call me "Granola," "Mother Nature" or "Nature Girl" are only doing this because we all tease each other mercilessly. So, it's all okay. No longer makes me uncomfortable with who I am. My answer now is, "yep, so what?" :) And that's a nice place to be.

I'm off to take Jackson to the doctor to see about this blasted cough of his that won't go away. Then, it's home to baby all three of us (as we are all under the weather right now) and do some more knitting on my mohair sweater! First sleeve is half-way done; body is 3/4 of the way done. Can't wait to finish and wear it!

Thoughts for the Day:

The only difference between a rut and a grave is in their dimensions. -- Ellen Glasglow, novelist

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. -- Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Roman Playwright

*****

So, it is raining like CRAZY here today!! Flood warnings all over the area. Both the kids are now sick -- Caragh with her bronchitis/pneumonia or whatever she has, and now Jackson has his cough back again with a vengeance. I played with my blog this morning while they watched "Man from Snowy River" (love that movie). I added some book lists and more fun blogs. Now, I'm off to get back to my mohair sweater. I started the first sleeve yesterday. I usually knit both sleeves at once (or else connect the sleeve to the shoulder and knit it from the top down). But, with this hand-dyed yarn, with all it's varigations, I've been alternating skeins. Realized that doing both sleeves at once would mean I'd have FOUR skeins going at the same time ... just a huge invitation for a big fat knot. So, one sleeve at a time for this one! :)

So, I continue to dream about my spinning wheel. While I love my Mongold spindle, I long to get a wheel. My husband, dear soul, gave me a "blank check" to purchase a wheel at Christmas, but I've hesitated to do it so far. I drove down to Stony Mountain Fibers to check out all the wheels that Barbara Gentry has in stock. I fell in love with the Majacraft Suzie Pro. What a great wheel! And even better, it folds away for storage (very important with two very inquisitive young children!), and has it's own special carrying bag (which will come in handy when I join a spinning guild! haha). I played with all the wheels, but didn't actually spin. This wheel was just so incredibly smooth, and I also really liked the double treadles. I'm going to go back down to Barbara's within the next month or so to actually try them out "for real."

On another note, I have purchased some seeds to start some "dye plants" in my garden this year. Don't know if I'll actually get around to really getting into dyeing, though. With all the other plants I have planned to grow, I have a feeling I'm going to be pretty darned busy just keeping up with everything. But, I found some neat websites on dye plants ... here are a couple:

All Fiber Arts
Guide to Dye Plants for Dyeing Wool and Textiles (this looks like a good book)

Thought for the Day:

The perpetual admonition of nature to us is, "The world is new, untried. Do not believe the past. I give you the universe a virgin today." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

*****

This quote struck me today as a reminder that every day truly can be a new beginning. There are no excuses for being stuck in a rut, locked into a lifestyle or existence not of one's making or desire. It is so easy to follow the path that others want for you, until one day you wake up and realize that you are HERE, but you want to be OVER THERE. Each dawn presents a new opportunity to start the journey, to consciously define the direction of your life and then to choose which divergence in the road you will take (as Robert Frost ponders in "Road Not Taken" -- one of my favorite poems). So, each day I take small steps towards the life that I want to lead, towards being the person I am meant to be. Even if they are internal steps within my own pyche, by merely learning to listen to what my spirit is trying to tell me I continue to move in the right direction.

So, I haven't had a chance to work on my mohair lace sweater these past few days. I thought with all this snow I would have lots of time to knit ... but not with two kids in the house needing entertainment!! So, we've done lots of cooking, drawing, modeling clay and other projects. By evening, I've just been too tired to knit on this sweater -- fearing that the lace pattern, however simple, is just too much for my brain to handle. Haven't felt like knitting on my other UFO either -- the seed stitch vest for my husband which is now 4 years in the making. It's going to be great when it's finished!! :) But, nothing but seed stitch really gets to me after a while: backandforthandbackandforthandbackandforth and argh! This is actually the only UFO I have, and I am itching to finish it because I just don't like to leave things unfinished.

Last night, I ended up spending 6 hours in the emergency room with our daughter, Caragh, who is 3. She had a cough for several days and then yesterday developed a fever, and by evening it was 103.6. So, her doctor sent us off to the ER for a chest xray to see if she had pneumonia. After 6 hours the conclusion was possibly, but not definitely, pneumonia. She is now on antibiotics (for only the second time in her life). So, after getting home at 2:30 am and waking up FAR earlier than I wanted to, to a whining 3 year old and bored 5 year old, I'm already exhausted! Hoping to get some knitting time in today or tonight, but I won't be able to attend my regular monthly knitting group tonight ... and I am very bummed out about that! But, this too shall pass ... and even with the snow still lingering, there is a persistent hint of spring in the fresh, clean air. That gives me quite a lift today.

*****

Two mores quote that make me smile a bit ... as I plan to actually PLANT dandelions and a few other "weeds" (in containers, of course) in my garden this year. Dandelion leaves are just incredibly nutritious, and actually taste good sauteed and stir fried with other greens. But, my husband Brett, the professional landscaper, is in a state of bemused disbelief about my plan to actually grow several species of plants that he spends quite a bit of his "working time" eradicating in our clients' gardens.

Dandelions are the supreme symbol of the failure of human control, a yellow flag of mockery, and every time we burn that flag, back it comes, stronger than ever. No plant or animal is as obstinately perverse in its flaunting of human wishes. -- David Ehrenfeld, Orion, Winter, 1990.

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thought for the Day:

There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in. -- Graham Greene

Thoughts for the Day:

The joy of a spirit is the measure of its power. -- Ninon de Lenclos, French Courtesan

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. -- Abraham Lincoln

*****

Check out this site: Yesterknits. They have tons of vintage patterns. I've never ordered anything, but it's fun to go in and look around.

Thoughts for the Day:

In the woods in a winter afternoon one will see as readily the origin of the stained glass window, with which Gothic cathedrals are adorned, in the colors of the western sky seen through the bare and crossing branches of the forest. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

For the man sound in body and serene of mind there is no such thing as bad weather; every sky has its beauty, and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigorously. -- George Gissing, The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft, 1903.

*****

We are getting pummeled here in Northern Virginia today. This snow storm is astounding. I find myself mesmerized watching the snow fall, and truly enjoying the view of our pine trees covered in white. As a child, snow was always an exciting occurence, and I can remember staying home from school, playing outside until my hands and feet were so cold and wet I couldn't feel them anymore. Then, going inside for hot chocolate and grilled cheese, and popcorn popped over a fire in the fireplace. We didn't get "big" snow storms very often ... and certainly never like today. The weather man says that this is a major record breaker. We live in the area where they are projecting 24-36 inches, and from the looks of it we are well on our way. The biggest storm on record was in 1922, when we got 28 inches and the Nickerbocker Theater collapsed. But, unofficially, both George Washington and Thomas Jefferson made note of a three-foot snow storm in their journals in 1773. I think it would be fabulous to break THAT record! :)

It seems as one grows up, that snow ceases to be "fun" and starts to become a "nuisance." "Grown-ups" don't seem to allow themselves the time to just sit back, relax and enjoy. When I was a "working professional," if there was snow forecast, I, like others in my office, felt required to bring work home so that the day would not be "wasted." What a pity. I missed out on going outside, enjoying the wind and snow stinging my face, breathing in the fresh arctic air. This week I played outside with our kids, made a snow man (which promptly collapsed about 10 minutes after we went back inside ... well, I never claimed to be an "engineeer"!), took a walk in the woods pulling the kids in their sleds. Today, I spent time outside shoveling our walks (several times) ... and not minding in the least that I was shoveling areas I had already done earlier. And I'll have to do them again tomorrow. The snow fell and covered my work almost as soon as it was done. Now, for Brett, out plowing our jobsites, this was a BIT of an aggravation (not to mention running out of places to dump all this snow). To me, it was a pleasant experience. It's so quiet outside, muffled and soft. I've filled all the bird feeders and put them on our deck railings just outside the kitchen door, and the kids and I have enjoyed watching countless birds feasting today -- sparrows, cardinals, chickadees, a downy woodpecker, and many others.

This storm is a wonderful example that man, for all his inventions and "improvements," is still at the mercy of Mother Nature. And I say "Amen" to that!

On a knitting note, I've added some more pictures of my knitting to my blog:

My first handspun skein was made with merino roving I purchased at the Knitter's Review Retreat from Carodan Farms. Probably enough to knit a scarf or hat, although I think I'll keep it as the example of my "first attempt."

My current spinning WIP is from merino top roving also purchased at the Retreat, from Stony Mountain Fibers in Charlottesville, Virginia. It's an amazing mix of dark burgundy/purple, red, gray, gold. I'm spinning this much thinner than my first attempt. The photo shows the first ball of single ply I've completed, awaiting plying, as well as my Mongold spindle, which I adore.

My current knitting WIP is a mohair lace sweater ... I already described it in another post so I won't be redundant here ... :)

The Patons Cardigan started out as a pattern from Pattons Speedy Knits booklet for Melody Yarn ... but I added some boucle loop left over from a sweater I knitted my mother, and totally changed the neckline and added buttons. It WAS a speedy knit, and I'm really happy with how it turned out (although the picture doesn't quite do it justice ...).

The Mission Falls 'Bay Tank' and Strick Trends 'Cocktail' tank are two tank tops that I knitted for myself last summer. The Mission Falls was especially fun to knit, with the cables and lace pattern throughout. One of these days I'm going to knit the Bay Funnelneck Pullover, too. These are from the Mission Falls "Simple" booklet, from Spring, 2001.

My Simply Beautiful Cardigan is from Tricoter's book, Simply Beautiful Sweaters. I knitted it in the colors in the book, and it is a great looking sweater.

Thought for the Day:

I have learned this, at least, by experiment; that if one advances confidenty in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours ... If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundation under them. -- Henry David Thoreau

*****

One of my long-running dreams has been to go to school at either Penland School of Craft or the Ozark Folk School. Now, I've been dreaming of Penland since highschool, but for various reasons (fear of the unknown, disapproval of others, etc.) I never did anything about it. In highschool, and then in college, I majored in art with a concentration in pottery for a while (until I got "practical" and finished up with an English Lit degree), and Penland has a great pottery program. Now, Ozark, on the other hand, has a great spinning and natural dyeing program. So, one of these days, I sure would like to do both! This dream will have to wait until the kids are older ... but it's something on the horizon that I won't let fade again for any reason.

But maybe one day in the nearer future, we will actually build my dream studio -- a small straw bale structure in the back yard with a living roof system (a roof system with various plants and grasses which is a better insulator from both heat and cold than traditional roof systems), where I can set up my pottery wheel (which has been in storage now for about 15 years) and maybe even buy a small kiln. Here's a photo of a very cool little garden cottage.

Looking back over my life, it sometimes amazes me how many times I have done something, or not done something, based on what other people wanted for me. I suppose I was one of those people who was not confident enough in myself to stand up for what I wanted in the face of whatever reaction I received to my ideas. Now that I'm older (and in the midst of a mid-life crisis) I have finally realized that life is too short to spend it being what other people want me to be. This only took me 20 years to realize! So, I am slowly finding my way back to my own spiritual path and in the process I find that my imagination and creativity are both reawakening as though from a long slumber.

One of the catalysts to this whole process has been the chronic illness (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) I have been dealing with. I truly believe that the mind, body and spirit are deeply entwined, and dis-ease in one will reveal itself as dis-ease of the others. I know now that my illness is due at least in part to the slow shriveling of my spirit because I wasn't paying attention to what it was telling me. It made my body sick, forcing me to stop and reevaluate my life, take stock of the path I was on and really consider how I wanted to live the next phase of life. In order to be well and whole, I really need to let myself be who I am. So, I am slowly coming to see my illness as a gift in disguise ... especially because the more aware I have become of what my spirit needs, the better I have begun to feel physically. It's been a slow process, but I finally know that I will return to a state of wellness in all aspects of myself.

Thought for the Day:

I had this advantage in my mode of life over those who were obliged to look abroad for amusement -- that my life itself was become my amusement and never ceased to be novel. -- Henry David Thoreau


And, in honor of Valentine's Day, one of my favorite poems:

The quiet thoughts
of two people a long time in love
touch lightly
like birds nesting in each other's warmth
you will know them by their laughter
but to each other
they speak mostly through their solitude
if they find themselves apart
they may dream of sitting undisturbed
in each other's presence
of wrapping themselves warmly
in each other's ease. -- Hugh Prather


*****

So, I now have my knitting pictures over to the side (I did not figure out how to do this -- a friend did -- and a big thanks to her for her help! :) ).

The Two Fuzzy Shawls were knit with Plymouth Firenze yarn. Very easy and quick (unless you drop a stitch - which I did -- as it is very slippery, too). Nancy's Sweater is a Firestone Yarn Kit -- the Island Cotton Cardigan in Khaki Shadow. Hard to tell in the picture, but it has shimmery parts in the yarn that are really nice (Nancy is my Mother-in-Law, and that's Molly sitting with her). Finallly, a picture of me wearing my Firenze Shawl and a sweater I knitted for myself a long time ago from a Rowan pattern. It has a nice cable design on either side of the shoulders and a rollneck. I knitted my husband the same sweater (it's actually a men's pattern) in an oatmeal color ...will get a picture up of both of them sometime soon showing more detail. :)

This is what my garden looks like right now: Winter Garden

And here are two of my garden helpers (Jackson, 5, and Caragh, 3, who is wearing the fuzzy crazy hat I knitted for her last winter) (that big rock in the center is going to be my "rock garden" !): Garden Helpers

And, here are two pictures of the recent afghan I knitted for my friend Margie's wedding -- knitted out of Mountain Colors Moguls and Mohair in "Golden Willow" .. Yummy!:
Margie's Afghan
Margie's Afghan - Close-up

I'm trying to figure out how to get a block over to the side of this blog where I can put my knitting picture links ... one of these days! :)

Thought for the day:

Real happiness comes
when we are able
to live what we believe,
rather than believe
what we are forced to live. -- Phil Rusten

There are no ordinary things, only ordinary ways of seeing things. -- Phil Rusten

*****

Last week I completed my felted tote from last year's Interweave Knits pattern. It is now almost dry, and then I'm off to find a place to put leather handles on it. This week I started knitting a mohair lace sweater in an amazing teal color. It's hand-dyed, and I purchased it from a farm in Ontario -- Northernwood Weavery in Combermere. They raise angora goats ... and it just so happens that I have some close friends who live, guess where, in Combermere! (and this really is amazing, because it's a mighty tiny place!) Catherine Gansterer, the owner, used to have a website, but it doesn't seem to be working anymore. Too bad, because she had wonderful photographs of kits to purchase, as well as roving, knitted garmets and yarns. Anyway, this mohair yarn is an amazing, softly muted and varigated teal-ish color. The pattern is called "Queen Anne's Lace" and it's a pattern of yarn-overs which are then taken off the needle, making larger loops, and then some knitting into the same stitch and knitting stitches together. I am now addicted to completing this sweater! The yarn is just amazing to work with, and so beautiful!

Today I get to look out my window and enjoy my neighbors horses, who have temporarily taken up residence in our front pasture. When we purchased our house, the front pasture was completely mowed and flat. We decided to let it grow free and see what happened ... so now we have a pasture full of wild flowers and swaying grasses, and some plants that definitely have dye potential! :) We've had alot of snow this year, and the horses have pretty well eaten down their pasture, and are eating alot of hay now. Brett wanted our pasture to get a little bit "trimmed" but didn't want to mow it ... perfect solution! The horses could hang out for a while and eat some of it. So, our neighbors were quite happy to move them over and save on the hay purchase, and we're getting our pasture manicured a bit. There are four of them, creamy milk chocolate colored and lovely. Usually they reside in the pasture down the hill from our back yard, so we don't often have the opportunity to sit and watch them graze. One of them is quite friendly, and Cathy, our neighbor, says he used to like to "nibble" people ... but she taught him how to "kiss" instead. So, oftentimes, when we go over to see them at the fence, this one will wander over and snuffle us. Caragh is just the right height for him to lean down and get her on the top of the head, which just cracks her up.

Funny thing is, our pasture is about 3 acres -- lots of room to roam and graze. So far, the horses have stayed very close to the gate that leads back to their pasture, where the grass is flattened down and partially mowed along the fence edge. But here they can still see their barn over the fence. Every once in a while, they'll go running off down the pasture, turn around and run right back up to the gate. Guess they need to get used to their new location before they can really enjoy it's bounty. Makes me think how, when you find yourself in a new or unfamiliar place, it's wise to step back and get your bearings ... but eventually you need to take that first step forward into the unknown, or forever miss it's gifts.

******

Okay, one more thought for today! :

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. -- Crowfoot, of the Blackfoot Confederacy, in his dying hours in 1890.

Thought for the day:

... But yield who will to their separation
My object in living is to unite
My avocation with my vocation
as my two eyes make one in sight ... -- Robert Frost

Thoughts for the day:

It may be more appropriate to think of ourselves as a mode of being of the earth, than a separate creature living on the earth. Earth does not belong to us, it is us. -- Elizabeth Roberts

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine into the trees. The winds will blow their freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. -- John Muir

This is a great company with lots of interesting, heirloom and endangered seeds:

Abundant Life Seed Foundation

We always order lots of veggie and flower seeds from Cooks Garden ... bought our Giant Pumpkin seeds here last year, and grew a 65 pounder!

Cooks Garden: Organic Flowers and Vegetables

Me, Jackson and Caragh in the garden, Summer 2002 (a little test to see if I can get a picture posted here ... thanks to Brett for his computer help!! -- and it only took me an hour to figure out how to do this :) )

Thought for the Day (courtesy of William Ellery Channing):

To live content with small means,
to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion,
to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich,
to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly,
to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart,
to bear all cheerfully,
do all bravely,
await occasions,
hurry never --
in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious,
grow up through the common.
This is to be my symphony.

Thought for the day: Is the glass half empty, half full, or simply too big?

So, yesterday it was in the 50's here. Quite balmy and springlike after the weather we've had this winter. After having poured over my seed catalogues (and once I figure out how to post favorites to this blog I'll include some) and ordering seeds, I'm just so ready to get out and start on my garden. Now, February is just far too early to do any real work ... even for the most optimistic gardener. But, with the weather as it was and the seeds all organized, I was itching to do something. So ... out we all went .. while I laid down more pinestraw over my raspberries, blueberries and herbs, the kids played in the mud. Then, I remembered the boxes of extra bulbs that Brett brought home from a job ... that haven't been planted due to this very uncooperative weather. So, I planted a bunch of allium giganteum, daffodils and hyacinths. Still lots of bulbs to plant, but I could only get them in the raised bed around the bird feeder because the rest of the ground is still too hard. Is it too late to plant bulbs? We shall see come spring! I'm hoping to get some more in this weekend.

I find gardening to be such a calming activity. Almost like knitting (although of course not as good as that! :) ). Very centering and meditative. I lose myself in it, in the feel and smell of the soil, the fresh air and birdsong. I have such plans for our garden this year -- so many new plants to grow -- the strawberries, rhubarb and asparagus, leeks and walla-walla onion plants should all start arriving in mid-March. I'll be off to our greenhouse in late February - early March to start the tomato, sunflower, pepper and pumpkin seeds. New plants I'm trying this year are rutabaga, beets, wampum (ornamental corn) and some new beans. Even more than last year, I hope to live off the garden in our continuing effort to live healthfully and more simply. Much to Brett's disgust, I am planting stinging nettle, dandelion and burdock in pots (all these being the bane of the professional landscaper) ... these plants are so healthy it's a shame they're considered weeds. But, I don't want them to take over the garden, so I'm hoping they'll stay corraled in the pots and behave themselves.

I took some "winter" pictures of the garden yesterday ... and I'll post them here once I figure out how!

My first post ... I chose the name of my blog for a couple of reasons:

1. The Spirit Trail - In Navaho weaving, "the basis of the Weavers' Pathway concept is the traditional Navaho fear of being enclosed on all sides with no way of escape ... the fear of enclosure is extended to weaving when a border surrounds the design ... In Navaho, two words are employed to indicate the consequences of weaving a rug with an enclosed border. They are akii je tlo, "too much weaving," a concept involving sickness of body, and adaage de tlo, "close yourself in," which can be considered a sickness of mind or spirit ... And so a complex concept emerges from a seemingly simple line - a concept involving the weaver's fear that in channeling all her energies and mental resources into a rug with an enclosing border, she may encircle and thereby entrap her spirit, mind, energies and design. In jeopardy are future loom experiences: the continued use of design, the well being of weaving muscles, and of paramount concern, her vision and sanity. The moment of Pathway is the moment of liberation, of peace, of serenity -- and a wish for the future: may the next weaving be even better." Noel Bennett, "The Weaver's Pathway: A Clarification of the 'Spirit Trail' in Navaho Weaving," Northland Press, 1987.

2. The Spirit Trail -- by Dan Fogelberg (one of my favorite artists and one of my favorite songs) ... here's part of the lyrics:

"Above the ridge an eagle flies
in lazy circles in the western sky
I want to fly with him
I want to walk the spirit trail ...
Let every creature I see
Be a brother and a friend to me
Let every step I take
Leave the footprints of a warrior
On the spirit trail ...
They took the land
they took control
they robbed my father of his very soul
To be like one of them
To be like one of them
But I was born a native son
and I will never be another one
to give it all away.
I've got to walk the spirit trail."

So, both of these have deep meaning for me at this point in my life. I feel like I am finally "listening" to my heart and actually allowing myself to be the person I am supposed to be -- rather than the person that others might want me to be. I've truly begun on my own "Spirit Trail" ... and the journey is an exciting one to ponder.

... more to come as this blog develops!