To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.

-- Joseph Chilton Pearce

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This quote struck a cord with me this morning. I tend to have fairly regular angst over what I do, from a creative standpoint. Am I good enough, is what I do unique enough ... all the questions one's psyche can ask in those silent, solitary moments that can drive one simply crazy.

Sometimes, I'll dye a batch of yarn or fiber and think, seriously, yuck. But someone else will always like it, is what I've found (because, really, it's not that it's bad, it's just not for me. And I can't always dye "my" colors, since not everyone has the same taste as I do, right?). It's not that I lack confidence in my creative abilities, it's just that for some reason this niggling doubt in my abilities can assert itself over little instances or circumstances, when I'm worn out, or on off or stressful days.

After dyeing so much over the last couple of months, I've faced this part of my psyche a few times. I think I'm getting a tad bit better at shutting it down, but it still pokes its obnoxious little head up just at the times when I really don't need it's voice whispering in my head.

In all actuality, I'm not so sure it's entirely possible to lose one's fear of being wrong from a creative standpoint. Nor do I necessarily think this is a bad thing. Because, for me, that fear of being wrong (read: not doing well enough) is part of what keeps me striving to do the best I can. It's impossible to be lacadaisical or complacent when faced with the ever-present potential that one's creations will sit on the shelf, gathering dust.

Luckily, this doesn't happen very often. Still, I'm learning to embrace the fear as a positive thing, a means to push myself and what I do beyond whatever limits I may see today.

Or, on the flip side, maybe what he means is we just have to throw what we do out there into the universe, without fear of whether it's accepted, or appreciated, or acknowledged or viewed as right or wrong by that universe (thinking like Van Gogh here).

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Anyway, enough philosophy.

I've been buried under piles of yarn and spinning fibers for weeks now, but am finally nearly to the end of digging myself out. I am feeling good about this year's preparations ... more yarns, definitely more of the combed top blends, lots of new roving and restocked roving, more and different colors (I think ... once I process it and load it into the trailer I tend to forget the details of exactly what is IN the trailer). I'll be updating the website once I get home from Maryland and sending out an update announcement (well, the roving pages are actually up to date, but the yarn pages are not).

ETA, in answer to Amarula's comment: I think I have more stuff (yarn, fiber, combed top braids) than I've ever had for a show before. My plan is to have enough to keep restocking the booth all weekend, so there will be new things for Sunday instead of nearly empty display racks.

And now, I'm off to continue working on the circular shawl that I am hoping to finish in time to bring to MDSW. Only 37,440 stitches left to go (down to 7,000 or so as of April 27).

Wish me luck.

See you there?